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What Your Coffee Says About You

Cafe Latte
Latte lovers are softer, more romantic hard workers. Generally nice people. They can be an average Joe coffee drinker, creatures of habit. They don’t like surprises and stick to daily routines — breakfast, coffee, work, lunch, work, coffee, work, gym, dinner, repeat!
Flat White
Straight-up traditionalists, at times brutally honest and they will tell you if your butt looks big in something. Will also try to feed you cannoli, bomboloni and other sweets to fatten you up so that they look like the skinny one in the photo, not you.
Long Black
A strong, busy on-the-go person with stamina. On the flip side, they do however also enjoy long walks on the beach, solo time, listening to instrumental mood music over a candlelight dinner, and flicking through the weekend paper.
coffee quote
Chocolate dusting on top means cappuccino drinkers can be indulgent. This self indulgence tends to mean they can also have a tendency to transform into hardcore party animals (too many espresso martinis), on a mission to wreak havoc worthy of the 6 o’clock news, or die trying. Risk takers, those who like to live life on the edge.
Want all that life has for them and don’t care what others may say. Not generally hardcore coffee enthusiasts but soccer mums, IT helpdesk workers or instant coffee drinkers wanting to join the espresso club. Also, these people are usually big fans of espresso martinis. Fun loving and love cuddles.
Short Black
The purist. Straight to business. Cultured coffee enthusiasts busy building the world around them, love attention to detail. Baristas usually rate these people highly at first, but quickly loose respect when sugar is added to the coffee.
Little to no fear of failure. Macchiato lovers are often one sip away from greatness or complete failure, such is the life of the Macchiato lover.
Piccolo Latte
Often found eating smashed avocado, piccolo latte drinkers are both health conscious and like good things in small packages. More than likely to own a Dachshund and desperately trying not to over compensate.
Usually favoured by the newly divorced or retired professional sports athlete, the Vienna offers the hard hit of caffeine with a soft and fluffy texture of whipped cream which the drinker identifies with. The drinker may also look soft and fluffy.
Hot Mocha
Sweet and innocent, the Mocha lover prefers nothing more than cuddles on the couch with their significant other on a Saturday night watching their favourite rom com, usually starring Richard Gere or Hugh Grant. They have strong opinions on whether the addition of marshmallows is necessary.
Hot Chocolate
Reminiscent and holding a dear sense of nostalgia for their childhood, hot chocolate lovers can generally be found binge watching their favourite cartoon with a giant mug of the stuff. Often hold a high power job, but always searching for a sense of escape.
Chai Latte
Growing up, my mother told me if I don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say nothing at all.
Caramel Latte
Often mistaken for a coffee expert, the caramel latte drinker often tells friends how much of a ‘coffee’ expert they are, rating cafes harsher than Gordon Ramsay. They should do everyone a favour and just get a milkshake.
Generally a Monarchist, tea drinkers enjoy whining about the cold weather while clutching a streaming cup in both hands. They can often be found on the couch watching re-runs of Heartbeat or Mrs. Brown’s Boys.
Respect. ‘Nuff said.
Iced Coffee
The Iced Coffee drinker is good with their hands and is more often than not, a tradie. The iced coffee lover often pairs the chilled caffeinated beverage with some form of meat and pastry, such as sausage roll or meat pie, and in most cases are purchased before 10am.